Humor

Whenever someone tells you that you are free to leave, they are probably going to do everything they can to force you to stay.

The only people who are afraid to die are those who have not done it yet.

Humans chop down bird houses to build bird houses, which they hang up in bird houses.

The only “normal” people are the ones you don’t know very well.

Try not to kill harmless insects and spiders that come into your house. Show them mercy. I hope if you are ever in the wrong place at the wrong time that someone will do the same for you. Feel free to kill mosquitoes, wasps, and hornets, though. They are pure evil.

My new year started with Samhain. I’m not going to let Pope Gregory XIII and the Gregorian calendar boss me around.

What did the fish say when it bumped into the cement wall? Dam.

Snitches get plea bargains.

“Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain

I’m pro-oxygen. I don’t care how controversial that position is.